On filling my own cup…

by | Aug 25, 2020 | Creativity, French Mango at Home, Life

Hey, what’s up, yo! Ok, that sounds weird. My kids would probably cringe in a corner, should they witness this moment…

Weird and empty, that’s how I have been feeling in the last few weeks.

This is the first time, ever, that I can’t even stand my own self. I don’t think I have ever known the meaning of “going stir crazy” until now. I am a fish without water, a plant without soil, a pina colada without coconut…

It feels like my life is happening in my head at the moment and that is so frustrating.

What is getting me through all this sh*t show is holding on to the idea that one day, some day, we will be able to live a life that feels normal again.

A life where we can go to a museum, share a chat with a stranger in a restaurant sitting too close, run down the stairs to catch a tube, brush someone’s hand and not feel terrible about it, smile to them without a mask that hides every facial expressions…

I have forgotten what it feels like to be excited about a new movie being released, looking forward to the opening of a restaurant, booking a flight… I want to not just remember it, but to relive ALL of it!

The worst in all of this, is the feeling that my creativity is slowly shriveling away.  They do say that creativity comes with “doing” and I have to agree with this. Right now creativity is sort of deflated, like an old orange you leave to dry in your fruit basket. I don’t feel I have enough opportunities to “step away” in order to come back with renewed energy and inspiration…

I am drained and my hands are itching to find new projects, new skills to dive into and forget about the world as it is right now…

You can’t use up creativity. The more you use the more you have.

Maya Angelou

I feel I need to expand my horizons, to find new projects and things to do with my hands or the old orange that I am becoming will never be full and juicy again…

I am going to take you with me on this one. I want you to hold me accountable, to tell me to get a grip and start doing, because like Maya says, the more you do, the more you can and want to do. So let’s start hunting for these new skills…